Evolution

Silence
Love
Silence
Violence
Silence
Loneliness
Silence

Written 1990-91

Loneso(me)

Despair overwhelms me
My heart is shriveling
The hole in my center grows larger
I embody despair
I am careening toward emptiness and loneliness with no way to stop

I am me
I only see me
Me is all I want and feel
What more is there than me?

You are on the other side
You are far away – an ocean separates us
What do you matter?
You are not me, yet we are the same

Two me’s can never equal an us
Two me’s are just two me’s
There is no form of joining me
Me is destined to be alone, empty

Where am I without you?
Am I even me?

Going Green

I sleep and sleep and sleep
Yet I wake with no energy.
I lie about and rest
Only to find myself exhausted;
When I am on vacation,
I find no pleasure in having nothing to do.

Work is my elixir
Breathing hard, my reason to be.
Expending my energy only gives me more.
How can I ever go green?

Moving backward into the future

Are we not doomed to have history repeat itself?

Once we make that one mistake, it will keep coming back
Repeating itself over and over until in the end
We realize our life was just one big cycle of mistakes.

Circles have no beginning and no end.

The future holds a vision of hope for us
Until we fall in the relentless groove of repetitiveness
Where no matter how we try to escape it
Only a scratch will make the needle jump
And scratching certain itches ruins our effort.

Can’t we learn to love ourselves?

Our mistakes are ultimately driven by our lack of love
Not for others, but for ourselves.
We have to start spreading that love within
Before we can spread it to the world.

Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. John 13:34-35

Crying in the pool

Doom
Devastation
I’m crying in the pool

Fear
Loathing
I’m crying in the pool

What am I doing?
I’m crying in the pool
Where am I going?
I’m crying in the pool
Why am I crying?
I’m crying in the pool
I’ve lost all reason
I’m crying in the pool

This is what I’m thinking as…
I’m crying in the pool

No more swimming
I’m crying in the pool

She left me alone

There she sat
politely conversing
she looked this way
She turned her head
Never to return

Tuesday Turns Her Head –> Published in The Daily Figure by Kyle T. Webster

spoony: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

spoony: foolishly or sentimentally in love.

Can’t ask for more than that.

Finding myself

I find myself growing tired
I find myself angry all the time
I find myself increasingly frustrated

I find myself doing things to hurt you
I find myself bitter
I find myself not caring –
or caring too much
I find myself reacting to my surroundings

Where am I in all of this?

Finding a smile

Finding a smile in a crowded room

I noticed you

You tossed your hair over your shoulder, carefree

Your beautiful eyes glowed while you spoke

Your bright red lips glistened as if wet

I wanted you

Finding a smile in a crowded room

I noticed you again

Your face seemed sad

Your eyes were filled with fire

Your dark lips quivered with every breath

I wanted you more

Finding a smile in an empty room

I came home to you

Your smile was warm

Your eyes lit up the room

Your beautiful lips kissed me

We are one

The Grand Director

The thumb comes rushing down and flat I fall

What have I done?

You exist to please me.

Crushing me makes you happy?

I keep you alive if it pleases me.

Only now do I understand

Puppets and playthings

A game that ends in death

All for the pleasure of our Grand Director.